Tuesday, October 27, 2009

what's funny

you know what's funny? i always start a blog asking what's wrong with me? as though i haven't figured out yet...well i really haven't....i kinda just give up..i'm trying to live my life and take the little moments that make me happy and stretch them out to last a while. my living situation isn't horrible...but i kinda wish i wasn't here..but i don't really want to go anywhere else...except away to college where i'll be busy..the thing that sucks the most is that my family doesn't understand me at all. and i kind of gave up on trying to help them to understand..i used to talk to my mom a lot about stuff but now? i keep quiet in car rides and go off into another world...it seems rude but i just have nothing to say. her opinions don't matter to me i honestly don't really care what she thinks of me.
my sister? well i update her on certain things but i have never really confided in her. i don't have the balls to do it. we keep away from each other mostly and just joke around. she's like and annoying "friend" that you see everyday and can't really get rid of. my step-dad..he's never here..and im not comfortable about talking to him...grandma? i don't like her at all so she gets nothing from me. i think its sad that i don't express myself with my family..but what's the point when they don't get it or care to anyway? i'd rather talk to austyn..he gets me..he knows where i'm coming from..he is the only one that can truly make me feel good...i talk about him a lot in this blog...why wouldn't i? he is amazing and i thank god for letting me meet him and get to know him. he has truly changed my life for the better and i hope we can be best friends forever(so gay)anyway..he knows how i feel about him and if he doesn't just read all my past posts to find out..i don't know how many times i've said i love him on here..but i'll end this know before it gets too long...

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