So yeah no birthday sex happening over here lol. but i did have an amazing day and i got to spend it with an amazing person. i also passed my range test with a B (yay me!!) umm i got like one present from Dominique which i love and i will def use it. um Christine said she'll get me one...or we will..umm yeah... so i saw a little bit of transformers (honestly i wasn't paying attention) it was long but from what i saw it was a pretty good movies. it had a bunch of funny moments. so maybe ill have to go see it again and actually watch it.
um i didn't see a lot of other people today but that's cool ill see you guys sometime before summer is over. oh and I'm moving to Portsmouth tomorrow...grrrr..i really do not want to go but i have to. hopefully it'll be a really nice new place to live. umm i still haven't packed everything so i kinda expect to get fussed out tomorrow by my mom but its all good. well i guess i gotta go since i ran out of stuff to talk about.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
i really really don't feel good about myself right now. i mean i absolutely hate hurting people and that's why i never think of myself. but to make one person happy someone else has to suffer. i feel like I've been going around and around in this circle of a triangle. but to cut off my connection completely was that the best choice? i feel like i cant change it now. they probably regret ever knowing me because i broke their heart. and i don't want that...i want to be with the person i love and have my best friend by my side....but that seems like it'll never work....what do i do? i guess ill talk to her again one day. and maybe everything will be alright. but somewhere deep down i know things will never be the same. all i can say is I'm sorry and i love you best friend because you will still be my best friend. and i didn't mean to hurt you but i finally started thinking about me and with who i wanted i couldn't keep doing what i was. so i stopped it before it went any further and ended up hurting everyone involved. please don't hate me because that is something i wouldn't be able to deal with...