yeah...

so...im just thinking about everything. my life is going pretty good and i feel almost normal. i told Dr.levy that i would talk to someone and make sure everything is ok. but now that i think about it...i dont want to...im scared and i think my problems arent important..plus things will be changing soon soo why bother? all i really want to do is write and what's depressing is that i have no one in my head...they dont have any stories to tell. i want to get away from my depressing genre of abuse and mental disorders and shitty relationship. but i suck at science fiction and fantasy. maybe i could do a yu+me kinda thing..with dream love and everything. but i dont know how to do that. i need my muse..but grr its so annoying. i sit in school and try to concentrate but my hands want to write. my many thoughts want to express themselves on the canvas that is notebook paper. i tried to force dayrn to let me in but things didnt go to well...he keeps blacking out and i just cant get to him. jesse and devon (i think i favor d and j names) they are just way too happy so involved in each other. there is nothing to tell. basically they made up and are just together. devon hasnt even thought about her abusive past. things are going great for her.who else is there? johnathan and rachel? well tey are in heaven happy and forever soul mates. i do want to use pictures and photo shop to express their story in a different way but i have to wait to do that. um some other characters that i had just disappeared and i miss them so much. i feel bad that their stories are left unfinished. i just wish someone new would come along with something happy to talk about and with a good sense of life and love.