apologies

i really really don't feel good about myself right now. i mean i absolutely hate hurting people and that's why i never think of myself. but to make one person happy someone else has to suffer. i feel like I've been going around and around in this circle of a triangle. but to cut off my connection completely was that the best choice? i feel like i cant change it now. they probably regret ever knowing me because i broke their heart. and i don't want that...i want to be with the person i love and have my best friend by my side....but that seems like it'll never work....what do i do? i guess ill talk to her again one day. and maybe everything will be alright. but somewhere deep down i know things will never be the same. all i can say is I'm sorry and i love you best friend because you will still be my best friend. and i didn't mean to hurt you but i finally started thinking about me and with who i wanted i couldn't keep doing what i was. so i stopped it before it went any further and ended up hurting everyone involved. please don't hate me because that is something i wouldn't be able to deal with...